The God Derned Boogie Man

A Michigan woman was killed by a stingray in the Florida Keys recently. She was on a boat going 25 mph...her dad was driving, and the 500 or so pound sting ray jumped out of the water, hit her in the face, and killed her on impact. What a way to go. I tend to be a pretty cautious person. I'm a worrier by nature. I'm afraid of flying in an airplane. I won't even drink one beer if I know I'm going to be driving. When I'm running with my dog, I worry about slipping on a patch of ice and breaking a bone. I worry about going back to college because I'm afraid of school shootings. I still worry about the Bird Flu. But I try not to let my fears get the best of me. I'll still fly to Vegas and go running and go back to school. I'm not going to shut myself in my room and not live my life. It's just that worrying like that is a battle I always have going on inside me. It's like I'm always having to test myself, to force myself to face my fears and grow as a person. What a pain in the ass, right? But this stingray incident makes me realize that even when you think you're safe, you might not be. You'd think that would make me worry more, but in a way it's kind of freeing. You know? You can't prevent something like getting hit in the face by a stingray from happening, so why try? I don't know if that makes sense to you...but it does to me.

I wish I was going to an Easter buffet this year, but I'm not. Buffets are a lot of fun, and they are also kind of a metaphor for America. We are never satisfied with just one serving, or with just one food-option for that matter. We want the macaroni and cheese AND the ham AND the prime rib. We want salad AND soup AND dessert AND a main course. And we don't want it just once. We want it AS MANY TIMES AS WE FEEL LIKE until we are not just satiated, but STUFFED.

There is this really cool website that you all should visit, especially those of you who are word nerds like me. If you visit it, you'll be helping to feed people who really need food, and you won't have to spend any money, I promise. It's fun, too! Click here! I'll probably post a banner for the site on here soon, but I'm too lazy to do that right now.

I hope you all have a fantastic Easter and that you stuff yourselves full of Cadbury Creme Eggs and marshmallow peeps and even some of that plastic grass that you put in the bottom of Easter baskets. I know you're not supposed to eat that grassy stuff, but if you can't be silly at Easter, when can you be silly? I hope that your Easter celebrations go swimmingly and that none of you get hit in the face by a 500 pound stingray.

The Book of Liz: Part I

I bought a book on blogging, because I'm a nerd like that. The book that I purchased is called: "Navigate the Blogosphere: The Rough Guide to Blogging." I've only read bits and pieces of it so far, but what I've learned is that I'm doing a lot wrong. Maybe that's why no one reads my blog. (Except for you, Kate.) Anyway, according to my book, the people who read my blog want some back-story on me. The people who read my blog want to know what makes me tick. So, I guess I'll get started:

My name is Liz Abruzzo. Some people call me Lizzy. My Dad calls me Lizzy. My friend Becky calls me Lizzy. But most people just call me Liz. Whenever a teacher asks me what I'd like to be called, I say, "Liz." Some people affectionately call me Lizard. Kate calls me Lizard. I allow it from Kate, but you have to be a pretty close friend to get away with calling me Lizard. Not too many people are close enough to me to be able to call me Lizard without me giving them a questioning look (as in, "Do you really think you know me well enough to be calling me Lizard?"). My sister often calls me Eliza or Liza or Lizabeth or E-Lizabeeeeth when she's mad at me. She doesn't really get so mad at me anymore that she yells at me like that. I guess we've grown up.

I was born in Lapeer, Michigan, at the Lapeer Regional Medical Center...I think. I spent almost my entire youth in Lapeer, except for a short period of time where my family relocated to Kalamazoo, Michigan. That happened when I was in 2nd grade, much to the chagrin of my friend Jenny DeArmond. We gave Kalamazoo a try. My mom thought Kalamazoo would be a better place for her children to grow up, since it was where she grew up. And, to my mom's credit, Kalamazoo is way cooler than Lapeer. Culturally, Kalamazoo has so much more to offer...more theater programs, art programs, music programs, etc. In Lapeer, all we have is football. Oh, and basketball. But our time in Kalamazoo was short-lived, partly because my Dad was gone so often traveling back and forth to Detroit (almost a two hour drive!) for acting jobs. My Dad is an actor. And partly because my sister Gina had a mini-nervous breakdown, 5th-grader style. She couldn't deal with being away from her tight-knight group of Lapeer friends. Yeah, she had a heck of a time settling in. There were woods in back of our house and sometimes Gina would run off and be gone for hours, screaming and crying and ranting and raving. Not even a deep-fried dinner from Long John Silver could comfort her. Then I got my first detention ever, at the ripe old age of 7, and that was the final straw. Sure, Kalamazoo was culturally rich and even had a Bookmobile, but that doesn't mean much when compared with the well-being of an entire family. So, aside from that dark period of 8 or so months, I spent my entire youth in Lapeer.

And with that, I'll leave you. I know you're salivating for more, but you'll just have to wait.

I love a man with an accent.

Natalie from Big Brother thinks that there are 27 letters in the alphabet. She is such a dumbass. I'm going on record as saying that I hate these people from Big Brother 9 ('Till Death Do Us Part'): Natalie, Matt, Ryan, and Sheila. I'm pretty sure that's all the people I hate on that show. I especially hate Matty, the roofer from Boston, for thinking he is way cuter than he is and for making comments like: "Do you think I should let Natalie give me a blow job tonight?" Um, do you think you should let her? Natalie is a dummy, but she still deserves some respect, as do all women. Although, what's with the knee-high socks Natalie? Why the fuck do you always wear thong underwear, a tiny tank top, and knee-high socks? Are you on your way to slutty softball practice? Please stop. Please, please stop.

A new season of The Bachelor starts next Monday! And this time The Bachelor is British. I think it's safe to say that most women would sleep with pretty much any guy that had a British accent. Accents are fantastic. But lucky for 27 year old Matt Grant, a global financier from London, he isn't half bad to look at. Matt Grant is desperate to settle down and start having kids. His ideal woman is: "adventurous, playful and fun, who loves to travel and enjoys the outdoors...funny, self-deprecating, and outgoing." Hmmm. Yes, Matt, those are very desirable traits in a lady friend. I wonder if any Bachelor ever said that his ideal woman was a fearful, boring, homebody with no sense of humor and no social graces. Hey ladies, here's a little tip to get you in good with the hot Brit: he loves working out and current events! He's at his happiest on the treadmill while watching the news. I wonder if he likes girls that wear thong underwear and tube socks? I personally love it when the girls say they are "willing to do whatever it takes" to get a rose.

Poor, poor David Archuleta. He really fucked up Beatles' night. Then again, there were only a few really great performances last night. I'm charmed by Jason Castro and Michael Johns. Chikezie is growing on me. David Cook is a confident performer who always picks great songs. I could do without Syesha, Amanda, Kristi-Lee, and Ramiele. Carly is ok. David Hernandez is just aight. Brooke White is darling.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. Senator Clinton won three out of four states yesterday, including TEXAS and OHIO! Hell yes. There's still hope. Obama and his glass jaw might just have to wait another 8 years...

I'm so happy. They're making a movie out of one of my favorite childhood books--Roald Dahl's "Fantastic Mr. Fox" It looks like Wes Anderson is directing it, and co-adapting the screenplay with Noah Baumbach. Um...considering the post I just put up about Baumbach's last movie ("Margot at the Wedding"), lets just say I'm thankful he's got help on this project, especially since it's so close to my heart. It's going to be a stop-motion animation movie with the voice talents of George Clooney (as Mr. Fox), Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, and maybe Jason Schwartzman (I hope, I hope!), and Anjelica Houston. 2009 is going to be a good year.

I predict that Luke Menard, and either Danny Noriega or Chikezie will be eliminated from American Idol on Thursday.

I would write more but I have to go out to dinner now.

Hysterical is the new calm.

This is my 50th post! I'm so proud of myself for doing 50 of anything. Anyway... I was reading TV Guide today, and it turns out Matt Roush agrees with me about Quarterlife. His review in a nutshell: Quarterlife blows. Don't watch it.

I went to the movies with my parents yesterday. I am so cool, by the way, all out and about with my parents. After the movie we went and walked around Whole Foods, which reminded me a lot of how I used to spend afternoons in the city, walking into random grocery stores, taking just a little more than my fair share from the bowl of sample guacamole. I heart Mexican food. We saw this movie called "Charlie Bartlett." I think I'm in love with the actor who plays Charlie, Anton Yelchin. He's adorable, and hilarious! Anyway, it's a fantastic movie and I highly recommend it. It's uplifting, funny, sweet--plus, any movie that showcases a great old Cat Stevens song and has shades of the delightful wackiness of "Harold and Maude" is a movie I like. Go see it in the theater and support it!

Today I watched "Margot at the Wedding" which is the latest film from Noah Baumbach ("Kicking and Screaming" (the one with Eric Stoltz, not Will Ferrell), "The Squid and the Whale"). I gotta say, I want to be a Noah Baumbach fan, but I just don't get his movies. He must watch a lot of foreign movies. His movies are always so dark and talky and with no real plot to speak of. Call me old fashioned, but I like plot. And what is Noah's fascination with masturbation? People were masturbating all over the place in "The Squid and the Whale" (remember the kid leaving his spooge all over school?) and they were masturbating a lot in "Margot..." too--seemingly for no reason. At the end, there's this part where the kid who plays Nicole Kidman's son says, "I masturbated last night, while you were sleeping, mom. I went into the bathroom and locked the door and I did it," to which she replies, "You don't need to tell me things like that, sweetie!" No shit! What 14 year old kid tells his mom stuff like that? And how does it even serve the movie to include it? At least I'm not the only one who thinks "Margot at the Wedding" is pretentious and dubious.

I love all sorts of movies, but maybe I'm a simple girl at heart. I loved "Definitely, Maybe" starring Ryan Reynolds and Isla Fisher. Could anyone be more adorable than Isla Fisher? I think not.