Friday, September 11, 2009

The Truth Is That I Miss You



I don't know how to begin writing this. One of my best friends in the whole world is gone, and I have never felt more empty.

Eric was an avid reader of this blog, which goes to show the kind of person he was-- warm-hearted and thoughtful, the kind of guy who would always surprise you by remembering the little things. It touched me that he read my blog, because to me, it's a high compliment when anyone is willing to read entry after entry about things like how I really like Cadbury Creme Eggs. But Eric got my sense of humor, and he was always right there laughing along with me, and supporting me, always asking me about the things I was doing, like becoming an EMT and going to nursing school.

My friendship with him began years and years ago, when we were both first graders at Maple Grove Elementary school. Eric was a memorable presence even back then. He had this great face--big, dark eyes and a wide, infectious grin. Back then, he wore thick glasses, which (don't hate me, Eric!) I always thought made him look a little bit like Stephen King. That's a compliment, if you ask me.

As years passed, Eric and I stayed friends. Of course, in a smallish town like Lapeer, everyone pretty much knows everyone. Eric and I went to the same junior high and high school. In junior high, I don't remember talking much to Eric, but we were still in each others' universes. You know, those were the awkward years. At least for me they were. If there were some girls who were talking to boys and dating and learning how to be pretty and mysterious, that certainly wasn't me. And Eric wasn't one for flirting, either, as I recall. He was studious, but not nerdy. In those tumultuous years, I would see Eric in the halls or the cafeteria or the blacktop where all the kids gathered during breaks, and be comforted. He was a familiar face, someone who made me feel safe in a time when I rarely felt anything other than terrified.

In high school, we had some great times. One of my favorite memories of Eric from those days--and something I teased him about for years after it happened--was when we got into a car accident on the night of our Junior Prom. I always used to say that Eric simultaneously risked my life and saved my life in the same night. So: Eric and I were each others' prom dates Junior year. Eric had borrowed his parents' nice new car for the evening--a big, beautiful SUV. And I had gone and gotten fake nails. Now, if you know me, you know that I am not someone who ever wears fake nails. But my friend Lisa convinced me to get them. Of course, her fake nails turned out all pretty and dainty, whereas I had a hard time speaking up to the woman who was doing my nails (I should've told her to make them shorter, damn it all!), so I ended up with loooooong burgundy talons. Eric was nice enough not to mention how ridiculous I looked.

So we went to prom, we danced, we ate, we laughed. Well, Eric didn't dance a whole lot. He never liked dancing much. But nevertheless, we had a great time. 11 o' clock rolled around and it was time to leave. We got into Eric's parents' car, and I couldn't get my seat-belt buckled--because those ridiculously long fake nails had made me lose all use of my hands. I tried a few times and couldn't get it, so I just gave up. Eric saw me and wasn't having it. He reached over and buckled my seat-belt himself. Little did I know what was about to happen...

We pulled up to the very first stoplight outside of where our prom had been held that year. It was a flashing red light, and we were making a left. Eric waited for oncoming traffic to clear, and then he went for it and made the turn. What he didn't realize--what neither of us realized--was that we had a flashing red, but cars driving on the road we were turning onto had a flashing yellow. So we ended up getting T-boned by this woman in a van. In the split second that we saw her car in our path, we both knew we were going to get hit. And then we were spinning. My door flew open. My purse flew out, along with some CDs that were on the dashboard. But I stayed right where I was, thanks to my trusty seat-belt and the friend who made me wear it (the same friend who also got me into the accident, but hey, I'm not keeping score:)).

When the car stopped spinning after what seemed like forever, Eric looked over at me, panicked. I asked, "Are you alright?" and he didn't even answer me or say anything, just got his seat-belt off and was out the door, running over to the lady in the van. I stepped out of the car, and I must've been a sight to see, standing there in the midst of all the broken glass and chaos in my high-heels, my overdone hair, my long prom dress, and of course--my even longer fake nails. I could hear sirens in the distance, and by now all of our friends (who had been in a caravan behind us as we all filed out of the prom parking lot) had pulled over to make sure we were alright. Even our principal and assistant principal stopped!

Eric had to call his parents and tell them what happened. The car was totaled and his dad had to come pick him up. Later, Eric got sued by the woman who hit us, and lost. Not the ideal prom night--but a good story for sure.

To be fair, I should tell you what Eric would say about this story. And I know exactly what he would say because we had countless conversations about it in the years after it happened. Every time he'd drive me somewhere, I would make jokes about how us in a car together was bad luck. So, Eric would say that the accident on prom night was not his fault. He would say that it was my fault, because I was distracting him by fussing around with the CD player. I don't know, maybe it was my fault. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter. We both survived and it bonded us together. So I'm thankful for it, especially now. Every memory I have of Eric is a good memory.


**I should note that this is not a picture of Eric and I from that night. This is a picture of us from when we went to Homecoming that same year. But, you get the idea:)

Eric and I went our separate ways for college. He went off to Michigan State, and I went to Western Michigan. Then I transferred to Eastern Michigan. Then I transferred again , finally ending up in Chicago. And even though Eric and I weren't always near each other during our college years, I always thought of him as a member of my inner circle. He was a constant in my life. I would see him over Christmas, when I (along with a lot of our other close friends from high school) would trek out to his house for pond hockey. Or I'd see him when I went to MSU to visit.

And then, about two years ago, I moved back home from Chicago. I started living with my parents and going to school yet again. At first, I felt lonely being back here in Lapeer. I felt a little loser-y too, because my only friends in the area were my parents. But then, Eric and I reconnected. He was in law school, at Cooley in East Lansing, which isn't that far from Lapeer, and he was around a lot because he worked in Grand Blanc, which is only a half an hour away from Lapeer. We started hanging out more, going to movies together, or just aimlessly walking around Wal-Mart laughing about absolutely everything.

And our circle of friends started to grow. Eric sort of "introduced" me to one of my closest friends, Alana. Eric, Alana, and I all went to high school together, but I didn't really know her in high school and Eric and she stayed close throughout college and after. So one night, around Christmas last year, Eric brought Alana out to the bar, and I realized how much we have in common. Plus, our friends Matt and Emily moved back to Lapeer around that time and we all started hanging out more often, doing things like celebrating someone's birthday, watching a friend's band play, or having game night. Suddenly, my whole world started to feel a lot fuller and I started to feel truly happy.











All I know is, Eric made my life better. Whether we were getting in a car accident together or walking aimlessly around Wal-Mart or chatting on the phone about what groceries to buy or talking about how much we both love the show "Dexter," we always had a good time together.

And the truth is, I miss him.