The God Derned Boogie Man

A Michigan woman was killed by a stingray in the Florida Keys recently. She was on a boat going 25 mph...her dad was driving, and the 500 or so pound sting ray jumped out of the water, hit her in the face, and killed her on impact. What a way to go. I tend to be a pretty cautious person. I'm a worrier by nature. I'm afraid of flying in an airplane. I won't even drink one beer if I know I'm going to be driving. When I'm running with my dog, I worry about slipping on a patch of ice and breaking a bone. I worry about going back to college because I'm afraid of school shootings. I still worry about the Bird Flu. But I try not to let my fears get the best of me. I'll still fly to Vegas and go running and go back to school. I'm not going to shut myself in my room and not live my life. It's just that worrying like that is a battle I always have going on inside me. It's like I'm always having to test myself, to force myself to face my fears and grow as a person. What a pain in the ass, right? But this stingray incident makes me realize that even when you think you're safe, you might not be. You'd think that would make me worry more, but in a way it's kind of freeing. You know? You can't prevent something like getting hit in the face by a stingray from happening, so why try? I don't know if that makes sense to you...but it does to me.

I wish I was going to an Easter buffet this year, but I'm not. Buffets are a lot of fun, and they are also kind of a metaphor for America. We are never satisfied with just one serving, or with just one food-option for that matter. We want the macaroni and cheese AND the ham AND the prime rib. We want salad AND soup AND dessert AND a main course. And we don't want it just once. We want it AS MANY TIMES AS WE FEEL LIKE until we are not just satiated, but STUFFED.

There is this really cool website that you all should visit, especially those of you who are word nerds like me. If you visit it, you'll be helping to feed people who really need food, and you won't have to spend any money, I promise. It's fun, too! Click here! I'll probably post a banner for the site on here soon, but I'm too lazy to do that right now.

I hope you all have a fantastic Easter and that you stuff yourselves full of Cadbury Creme Eggs and marshmallow peeps and even some of that plastic grass that you put in the bottom of Easter baskets. I know you're not supposed to eat that grassy stuff, but if you can't be silly at Easter, when can you be silly? I hope that your Easter celebrations go swimmingly and that none of you get hit in the face by a 500 pound stingray.