Hello all (all one of you who read this, that is)! I'm sorry it's been such a long time since I posted. Why do I feel like that's the sentence I always start with?? Hmmm....peculiar! Anyway, I guess I haven't posted in such a long time because I've fallen into a deep depression. Last night I was reading a book that I thought was going to be good, but it wasn't good. I looked at the picture of the woman who wrote it (you know the picture in the back of the book with the little blurb underneath that says how the author is happier than she's ever been before (ever!), living in Mayberry with her husband and her small-enough-to-put-in-a-bicycle-basket dog, Triscuit?). I shouldn't be allowed to do that. It always makes me feel like...hey, this woman wrote a book, and this book is not even good...why don't I write a not-good book and get a husband and a dog? I'm too busy to get a husband and a dog. I have Biology class to worry about. Today I took my first Bio test, and I did the dumbest thing ever...I went back and changed one of my answers...and it turns out I changed it from the correct answer to the incorrect answer! I'm ridiculous. I'm sure I still did fine on the test, but it bugs me. And by the way, why would I ever need to know the temperature at which water is its densest? I guess you need to know that if you're going to be a nurse...because when people come into the ER, they're usually like, "I'm shot! I'm shot!...But before you stitch me up can you please tell me the temperature at which water is its densest? I just wanna make sure I'm in good hands here, and if you don't know that well....say buh-bye." Here's a question: how is it that some people can finish a 51-question test in 7 minutes? It takes me longer than 7 minutes to fill in my name on the Scantron (and then go back and make sure I didn't fill in two letters in the same row or something...). I'd only finished page one of the 6-page test and people were already walking up and handing in their tests! Wtf? Maybe I'm just a slow reader or something. But I'm annoyed by people like that. It's not a race. This isn't the Tour de France. We're in Biology class. We're learning about the functional groups. We're learning that DNA has a sugar-phosphate backbone. Cool your jets. Speaking of jets, today I saw the new Will Smith movie "Hancock." There are no jets in that movie, but whatevs. It was actually a pretty good movie. I resisted seeing it because I don't generally like superhero movies, but this was more romantic comedy disguised as action adventure. When I learned that Jason Bateman was in it, it was a done deal. He's great. So, I recommend it. If you really want to see a movie this weekend and don't feel like watching Wall-E (I don't blame you), go and see "Hancock." It's deece (that's my slang for decent...get with the times, you!). Other than seeing "Hancock," here's what I did today (in chronological order):
1. Wake up and go over all my Biology stuff in my head while lying in bed, thinking that I should probably go back to sleep so that I'll be well rested, but not being able to sleep because I was nervous about the test.
2. Go running in Rowden park. I try to do this every morning. When I go early enough, I get to see ducklings! I heart ducklings.
3. Shower, breakfast, watch 10 minutes of 30 Days, the super-fantasmo Morgan Spurlock show.
4. Drive to Oakland, listening to Biology-related podcasts and tutorials. (I am a super nerd)
5. Sit in Oakland Center looking at flashcards, pretty sure that people are making fun of me.
6. Sit on the floor in O'Dowd hall waiting for the door to my classroom to be unlocked and listening to my classmates muse about what will be on the test.
7. Take my Bio test and finish WELL AFTER most people in my class.
8. Drive home while listening to a mix CD I made, all the windows rolled down because I have no air in my car.
9. Stop at the Meijer gas station outside of Oxford, get a donut and some cheese crackers (it's fat day).
10. Go to the store and talk to my mom about how I messed up on that 'at what temp is water its densest question?'
11. Mom looks up the correct answer to the question and confirms my fears (I changed my correct answer to the incorrect answer! Stupid! Stupid!)
12. Cori comes to Dagwood's and we have lunch. But I didn't eat that much. The pasta salad was too mayonnaisey.
13. Go see Hancock.
14. Now I am here.
Don't worry about me. I'm really not all that depressed. I just felt like writing that. Things are going well. I've been drinking smoothies for breakfast. It's all good.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Whatever happened to Preparation A through G?
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oh my god, I can't believe you don't even know what temperature water is densest at...um, if you were my nurse, I'd look you square in the eyeball and say "GO BACK TO SCHOOL YOU GODDAMN GOOD FER NUTHIN IDIOT!" Because everybody knows, Liz, everybody knows that water is densest when it's cold. Like ice water, freezing, if-you-fall-in-a-lake-you-will-go-numb-in-2-minutes cold. You should have just put "cold." and then you would have been right. But you're an idiot, clearly. By the way, what temperature is water densest at? I of course know the answer, I am just testing you.
I also enjoy ducklings. Did I tell you about the time I was driving to work and I saw a baby duck stuck in the middle of the road in the turn lane, with cars whizzing (yes, whizzing) by and he couldn't get out and I almost turned around to drive back and save him but instead kept going, afraid I would be late for work, but almost crying because I was so worried that the tiny duck got ran over? Yeah. That was a bad day. And then I told people at work about it and they laughed at how overly sensitive I was about baby animals. IT WAS A BABY DUCK, DAMMIT, ONE OF THE CUTEST ANIMALS KNOWN TO MANKIND!!
Also, here is my list of what I did today, just because you inspire me. (Ignore the Bridget Jones writing style, it's all I have. Don't judge me, Liz. God, you're judging me. Wow, you are being soooo judgemental right now.) :
1.) Wake up at 6:50 a.m, after precisely 50 minutes of hitting the snooze button in 9-minute increments. Realize that I was supposed to get to work early today, but do nothing to hurry myself along. Think that maybe that work/life/everything is the same everyday, for one second feel like tiny worker bee in a giant city of millions of nameless people. Snap out of it when Tommy Lee Jones rubs against my leg and heads off to investigate the bathtub and what sort of mischief goes on in there, limping on his little leg, and stopping to look back at me, like "are you coming?" Realize that life is pretty good.
2.) Stop at Starbucks for daily mocha, am slightly annoyed at the cute guy behind the counter who, unlike his coworkers, and after months of me coming in every morning, still doesn't remember what drink I get. Although, he did remember that I get no whipped cream, so I guess we're making progress.
3.) Stare at the cashier girl, who is wearing so much awful black eyeshadow it makes me embarassed for her and whatever rave she's going to attend after her shift ends.
4.) Get to work around 9, no one notices that I am not in at the time I said I would be. Log into computer, check email, blogs, and don't start actual work until around 10:30.
5.) 11:35. Dying of hunger, decide to go down to lunchroom early, and when I get down there, I am the only one there, which is both sad and peaceful at the same time. Lauren comes down to vent about how ridiculously late her editors are with content and I agree. Am secretly glad that my editors are always on time and super nice.
6.) Eat an entire (small) bag of Twizzler's NIBS. Although I could have probably eaten one of the full size ones, too.
7.) 10 minutes later....Regret eating whole bag of Twizzler's NIBS.
8.) Overhear Frizz Hair/Stirrup Pants in the cube next to me talking about Jessica Simpson "going country." Wonder why this woman is getting so worked up over Jessica Simpson. Vow to never get that worked up over Jessica Simpson. Ashlee Simpson, maybe, because I once read an article in which she and Pete "guyliner" Wentz bragged about reading The Bell Jar multiple times.
9.) My boss Elliott brings donuts over and forces me to try one, even though I was clearly sick from the Twizzlers, by repeating "C'mon! Try one! C'mon!!!" over and over until I take a piece just to shut him up. Wonder who came up with the abbreviation "donut" instead of "doughnut."
10.) Loud, Santa Claus-like sales guy comes over to cube area and tries one of Elliott's donuts. He comes back 10 minutes later, yelling "WOW! THOSE ARE SOME REALLY GREAT DONUTS!! I MEAN, THOSE ARE THE BEST DOUGHNUTS I EVER HAD!" Comes back another 10 minutes later, Elliott is gone, but he reaches into donut bag, takes another donut, telling us that Elliott 'said he could', leaves $2 on Elliott's chair, and goes back to his office. Elliott comes back, sees the $2, and then takes it back to Santa, saying that he won't take it, after all, it's just a doughnut! Wonder why our culture is like that, not accepting money or free things. I mean, free things are good, why do we turn them away? Or maybe we are putting up a front, to show that we are nice and not greedy, knowing that in the end, we really will take the free thing, and feel better about it because well, we tried to give it back and they wouldn't take it. Wonder what would happen if you tried to give something back and then the person was like "Okay, fine." and took it back. Would be funny. Am going to try someday.
11.) Leave work, and get stuck in traffic. Hate traffic. Hate traffic lights, hate cars, hate people, hate waiting 3 turns to get through a goddamned intersection.
12.) Get paid for a sweet website that I designed, and also hated every minute of doing because I realized, and I think have known all along, that I absolutely hate web design but that's all anyone wants, a goddamned website.
13.) Eat delicious pizza at Spacca Napoli, my favorite pizza place of all time, with a girl I went to highschool with, who, like me, went to college in Chicago and has lived here for 5 years but for some weird reason we never hung out before. Had wine, limoncello, and some sort of delicious chocolate gelato rolled in hazelnut, talked about people we knew, places we'd been, and highschool people that annoyed us because they were married with kids (seriously wtf?).
14.) Realize that for the first day in a long time, thought more about me and my life than him. Light at end of tunnel is getting brighter!
15.) Came to the conclusion that I will, no matter what, travel somewhere amazing in the next 2 years, preferably with my favoritest blogger ever, Eliza Jane.
Encore:
16.) Lay on couch with Diet Coke and Tommy Lee Jones and watch more Episodes of Gilmore Girls Season 4.
Hope you did well on your Bio test, I'm sure you did, my little overachiever!
Miss you tons!
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