And the award goes to...

I am so so so so so incredibly sorry that it's taken me so long to write. I promise I'll do better. Really, I will. There's just been so much going on lately, it's hard to see straight, let alone write an entire blog. First of all: Oscar Nominations. I have a lot of problems with "The Academy." Most of the time I think the movies that are nominated are not movies that please the masses... Like, I'm sure Jaws wasn't nominated for Best Picture in 1975, but that's a kick ass movie. Still, what I'd like to do is tell you who of the nominees I'd like to win and who will win:

BEST PICTURE:

I'd like to win: "Juno"

Will win: "No Country for Old Men"

BEST ACTOR:

I'd like to win: "Daniel Day-Lewis"

Will win: "Daniel Day-Lewis" or "George Clooney"

BEST ACTRESS:

I'd like to win: "Ellen Page"

Will win: "Julie Christie"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:

I'd like: "Hal Holbrook"

Will win: "Javier Bardem" or "Tom Wilkinson"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

I'd like: "Amy Ryan"

Will win: "Cate Blanchett"

DIRECTOR:

I'd like: "Jason Reitman"

Will win: "Cohen Bros." or "P.T.A."

BEST DOCUMENTARY:

I'd like: "Sicko"

Will win: "No End in Sight"

BEST SCREENPLAY:

I'd like: "Juno"

Will win: "Juno"


So....we'll see if I'm right or not on Oscar night. If it happens, that is. Ok, onto the next topic: Heath Ledger's death. Man, that stinks. I don't know what else to say. Heath Ledger was a hot aussie who will no longer grace the silver screen or our lush planet Earth. And that's no fun. Maybe if our society wasn't so celebrity obsessed these people could actually lead normal lives. Then again, I guess I'm part of the problem since I love celebrity gossip, movies, TV, etc. Still, I don't stalk celebrities and sell photos of them to the Enquirer and I'm not an agent who whores them out so I can afford tennis courts and an in-ground pool. To all the wayward celebrities out there: follow Jeff Daniels' example. He lives a modest life in Saline, Michigan and only does a few movies a year.

Next topic: the funny word game. A few of my friends and I have come up with a fun game--the funny word game. It's very simple. You just think of a word, like "jacket" and then try to think of another, more formal word that means the same thing...like "parka" or "blazer." Then use that word in a sentence! The best way to play the funny word game, though, is to come up with whole sentences made up of funny words. You may not think it sounds fun, but trust me: it is. Here's an example: (can you figure out what this sentence is asking?)

"Would you like to accompany me to the local noshery for a mug of perk and a soft, moist baked good with traces of azure antioxidant-bearing fruit?"

OR:

"Honey, where's the tether? Our canine needs a stroll. He needs to relieve his bowels al fresco, or he might end up relieving them on the wall-to-wall."

See? This game is hilarious!! I knew you'd think so. Now you'll never be able to live another day without at least noticing all the funny words that you encounter in life. If you think of a good one, let me know! I also encourage you to work funny words into your everyday speech. Sure, people might laugh and point, but the joke's on them.

Next topic: my life. Hmmm, what can I tell you about my life? I'm living at home again, with my parents. I thought it would be more traumatic than it's been. But maybe that's just because I know that it's only temporary. I've been taking a kickboxing class, which is super fun. I like exercising, but for me workouts that have some sort of practical application are way more fun than say, running on a treadmill. I doubt that in my lifetime someone will put a gun to my head and force me to run at level 10 on a treadmill, but someone actually might attack me. And now, if I get attacked, I'm ready. Also, punching and kicking a bag is very very taxing and, I assume, excellent cardio. Plus if you're like me (brimming with anger and hatred), it's a great stress-reliever! We're going to install our own punching bag in the basement of Dagwood's so that my Dad and I can get more practice outside of class. Once I get more comfortable with kickboxing, I plan to start taking Karate too. I love martial arts. I think that practicing martial arts is one of the most beneficial things you can ever do for yourself: body, mind, and soul. I studied Aikido for about nine months and now I'm ready to start Karate.

What else is new with me? TV sucks these days... I'm really hoping the writers get what they want soon, but at this point, the TV year is pretty much ruined. What's with Medium showing three episodes and then going off the air for four weeks? Come on Medium, this is our time of need! I've started watching October Road recently. It's pretty good. It's part ED, part 90210, with a dash of Gilmore Girls and a pinch of hope.

I wish I had some dirty secrets to tell, but I'm just way to boring for that. I love you all, dearly.