NLYSYITM

Gina,

I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I can be a little dramatic. So when I found out a few weeks ago that you were moving to New York, I immediately broke down crying. I knew there was a strong possibility you would be moving there, but to find out that you were leaving for sure and that you'd be going in just one short month, I felt like my heart was being ripped out. And I guess it kind of was, because you are my heart.

I feel incredibly lucky that we have the relationship we have, because being sisters doesn't necessarily mean you have to like each other or even know each other very well. Some sisters could be standing in the same room together and yet be further apart than you and I would be if we lived on different continents. Also, some sisters kill each other. It's called sororicide and it happens more often than you'd think.

 

From the very start, we were a special pair, like two sides of a coin. You, the gorgeous, cute one and me, the smart, interesting one. No, but seriously--we go together like cake and frosting. And it always has been that way.          I remember the day it all started. I had just been born, and mom put me down for a nap in my crib. She thought you were quietly playing with your dolls, so she went out to smoke on the porch. Little did she know what a scamp you were! You snuck into my room to peek at me, your new living doll, while I slept. But you couldn't leave it at that. You just had to hold me. So you climbed into my crib, picked me up, and began singing to me. When mom walked in and saw little three-year-old you standing in my crib, holding me and singing, she let out one of her trademark shocked gasps, which scared you so much that you dropped me. Wham!! I fell onto the crib mattress like a sack of potatoes. Soon, everyone was crying and the day was ruined.

Of course, I know you meant well. You just wanted to cuddle with your new baby sister. Still, this was not the last time you caused me bodily harm. There was the time you insisted on giving me a piggy-back ride down the stairs. You couldn't hold me up and I ended up crashing off your shoulders, falling down the stairs, and slamming into our fancy glass umbrella stand. Another time, you chased me out into the DeArmond's front yard, threw me to the ground, sat on top of me, and began pelting me with weak little punches. I can't remember what I had done to make you so mad, but I do remember being beaten to within an inch of my life. In those early years, you used to taunt me with kitchen knifes, slap me, spit on me, and hug me so tightly I could barely breathe. You'd pull me into one of your vise-grip hugs and say, "You're my teddy bay-o, you're my teddy bay-o!" until I begged for mercy.

You also used to wait until I went to sleep, then creep into my room, crouch down by the side of my bed, and then pop up and scare me. I developed crippling anxiety because of this and couldn't sleep through the night until I was 16. But still, I knew you did it all as a way of showing how much you loved me. It also helped us bond. I became just as much of a prankster as you were. Remember the time I called mom and asked her to ask you to get her peach-colored coat out of the hall closet and then I hid in there for over an hour, waiting for you to come and get it so I could jump out and scare you? This is how we love each other.

It wasn't all violence and pranks between us. I remember you reading me bedtime stories. Specifically, I think you read me the story "Jonathan Cleaned Up--Then He Heard A Sound" hundreds and hundreds of times. And that's not a short story. We would cuddle up together in your bed in our house on Forest Drive and you would read me that story. It was my favorite, and I guess it was yours too, or you just wanted to make me happy. We also always shared a love of music. Remember the hours we spent singing in the back of mom's van on trips up north? We came up with harmonies, singing show-tunes and songs we learned in music class, like "The Eagle Song" ('Born for a western sky, sweeping a circle as he flies. He was free-ee-ee when they let him be...'). We would also spend at least a half an hour saying goodnight to each other every single night. Our bedrooms shared a wall and we would talk to each other through it.We came up with a whole series of little phrases we would HAVE to say each night, otherwise we were both convinced that "something bad" would happen. To save time and energy, we eventually shortened our goodnight ritual so that in order to avoid the untimely death of one of us, all we have to say to each other is "Night, love you, see you in the morning." We still say this to each other every time we say goodbye or goodnight. Well...sometimes you say it and then I wait a REALLY long time to say it back just because I know that you, being as superstitious as you are, won't go to sleep or hang up the phone until I say it. I love this power I have over you...but I always do end up saying it.

As we grew up, we didn't always understand each other. You were a wild child, and I was determined to be the exact opposite. That's why you ended up in trouble with the law and I ended up in AP English. Hey now, I'm just teasing. We have always been different, though--in some interesting ways. For one thing, we don't look alike. Remember how we used to say, "Hey, let's do that thing where we look in the mirror and see how much we don't look alike?" And we would. We would stand, side by side, and stare silently into the mirror for a few minutes. Finally one of us would say, "Wow. We really DON'T look alike!" It blew our minds. You have also always been a little more free spirited than I am, more of a social butterfly. I always had friends, but I was just as content to sit in my room for hours reading and listening to Nat King Cole as I was to spend time with them. You were into make-up, clothes, and hair. I was into not wearing make-up and only buying clothes from thrift stores. What a nerd I was (an ugly nerd!). Our differences stuck with us, but I think we also influenced one another as we grew into the relationship we have now. You taught me how to do make-up, showed me how to loosen up a little, and I made fun of you for being afraid to return a video to the video store by yourself. No, but seriously--you have made me a more interesting and fun person, and I hope I have done the same for you.

Honestly, I think the things we have in common have defined our relationship more than our differences have. We're both funny and creative. We both do pretty amazing British and Jersey girl accents. We're both devious pranksters. We both love horror movies, fly off the handle when we're hungry, overreact, cry at the drop of a hat, hate flying, love roller coasters, fear death, and embrace life. We may not look alike (it really is remarkable how much we do NOT look alike!), but our personalities, our collective off-the-wallness, the shorthand we have with one another that only exists between people who connect on the deepest of levels, proves we're sisters. I'm still probably gonna order a DNA test, just to be certain...you understand.

There is so much more I could say about you and me. But instead, I'm going to leave you with some confessions: One of my all-time favorite days is the day we spent filming Killer Doll. Looking at pictures of you when you were a little kid fill me with joy--I love your little chin dimples and your ridiculously large glasses. I love that you are a crazy hypochondriac. A memory that always makes me laugh is the night you were writhing around on your bed in our house on Calhoun Street, looking like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, screaming "My ears! My EARS!" I like that you never get annoyed when I call you a  "frail little woman" or compare you to a garden gnome. I admire you more than you probably know--you are a dreamer, you are passionate, and you aren't afraid to go for what you want. I wish I could be that fearless. Lastly, I will miss you so much--our sisters nights in Royal Oak, our limp hugs, our vegan cupcake feasts.

I know this is not an ending. This is the beginning of a crazy new adventure. In a way, even though you are going, I am keeping you here. Because like I said, you are my heart. And in a way, even though I am staying, I am going with you. Because you are my heart.

I love you, and I'm proud of you. 

NLYSYITM,

Liz 

"There's a special kind of freedom sisters enjoy. Freedom to share innermost thoughts, to ask a favor, to show their true feelings. The freedom to simply be themselves." –Author Unknown