Test Anxiety

Ugh. I have a sick feeling in my stomach. Because I just took a test. And even though I usually do well on tests, I always, always, always, feel like I didn't do well. But what's with people who get an 80 question test and are done in 15 minutes? I don't even think I could read all the questions in fifteen minutes, let alone obsess over them and go into a cold sweat, as is my ritual. God, I hate tests. And, I hate that I hate them. Why can't I be one of those carefree people who comes in on test day with, like, a strawberry cream cheese bagel in my hand and sit and eat while I chatter with my friends about tonight's sure-to-be-fantastic episode of Grey's Anatomy? Why must I be the girl who insists on getting to school at least an hour early so I can study more--the girl who races to her car after she's turned in her exam only to sit there for twenty minutes checking answers? I am in a self-made prison, a prison of power-point lecture notes and critical thinking crossword puzzles and the 206 bones in the body and blood pressure cuffs and rumors about bad teachers and about the unlikelihood of ever getting into the nursing program and my own fears of what will happen if I don't get in and what am I going to do if that happens and what a waste and oh my god and I think I better stop at McDonalds so I can drown my sorrows in a 10 piece nugget and I'm getting fatter and my dad doesn't like me anymore and I'm ashamed of myself.

But don't worry about me. This will pass. I'm pretty sure I got a B, anyway. ...At least a B. I mean, hopefully a B. Dear God, please let it be a B (or better)!