You know, there is such a thing as being TOO healthy. That's what killed Bruce Lee.

I spent the day at the mall, alone
KB Toys is going out of business
Or, as I like to say: bid-niss
I saw a movie at the mall
A couple brought their little twins into the movie
The twins cried and shook their rattles
I got the biggest popcorn combo they had
I was this close to getting two drinks
I love those names they give to the combos:
"Perfect Co-stars!" "A Midsummer Night's Butter."
Adorable
Yesterday, we ate at Olga's
I thought our waiter was overbearing
And, I felt pressured to order quickly
I don't like Olga's
What if I don't feel like having my dinner wrapped in a pita?
My dad thinks I should adopt a "clean-eating" plan
He says I'm not allowed to drink from the faucet anymore
He says I should go on a juice fast for 21 days
It is now the year 2009
I guess I should have some goals, some plans
What's scary is that every year I have the same goals and plans
And if you think about it, you'll understand why that's scary
What if I only ate turnips for a year?
Then I could write a memoir about it
I could call it: "Turn UP"
That's a good title
I start EMT class in two days
I don't know what door to go in
I emailed my teacher
My email said: "Hey, yo, what door?"
I am going to learn about vehicle extrication
That means, getting someone out of their car after an accident
Like, using the Jaws of Life
My favorite film is Jaws
Sometimes when my dad comes home and the house is dark he yells out: "Hooopah! Hooopah!"
Because that's how Captain Quint says it
I love my dad
But some people find him intimidating
He doesn't understand why
I said, "Maybe it's because of your buzz cut, stocky build, and olive-toned skin."
I don't find my dad intimidating
Except when he is screaming at the top of his lungs and threatening me with a knife
I'm just kidding, he doesn't do that