Monkey Poo

Ok, I'm officially a drama queen. I got an A on that test that I was freaking out about. I guess I'll never learn. Since I do this EVERY time I take a test. And now, I'm sick. And, it's the kind of sick where I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I'll be like, how come my mom never hugs me anymore? What year is it? Where is my cat?! I haven't seen my cat in weeks! And then the next morning, I'll see Jack (my cat--the one who still has his whole tail) and I'll be like...oh...there he is. It's awful. Supposedly, tea with honey helps. So, I've started an IV of mint tea with honey. But I'm still sick as fuck. What's up, God? What is up with that?

This week at EMT class, we learned how to put people on backboards and carry them around. Now I have a strong desire to spider-strap strangers that I see at the market to a long, stiff board. And, I bought a blood pressure cuff so that I can practice. Except I take my own BP so often that I now have little bruises on my arms. It's just I'm so competitive. I'm like, 140! This can't be right.

Since I'm not feeling so well, I thought I'd end this blog early and go eat a sandwich to cheer myself up and probably some of you (if you need cheering, that is, which I hope you don't, but if you do, eat your own sandwich. And if that doesn't work: eat a cheeseburger. If that doesn't work, I suggest taking a samba class. If that doesn't work, go roller skating. If that doesn't work, ride a camel at a water park. If that doesn't work, there's something really wrong with you).