My Morning

Woke up.

Opened my mouth wide to see if I could make my ear pop.

Turned on the shower.

While waiting for the shower to heat up, squirted warm water into my ear.

Got in the shower.

Knocked over my shampoo bottle and wondered, not for the first time, why the shampoo bottle is so much larger than the conditioner in this shampoo/conditioner set.

Got out of the shower.

Accidentally knocked my bra into the toilet, which I guess serves me right, since I left my fresh clothes for the day precariously perched atop the toilet tank.

Frustratedly put my pajama top back on, so I could go back to my room to get a new bra.

Returned to bathroom.

Dressed.

Went to kitchen, and looked nervously around for my mom, hoping not to run into her.

Put a bagel in the toaster.

Returned to bathroom.

Put my hair back.

Put on minimal amounts of makeup.

Returned to toaster.

Put Chive-flavored cream cheese on my everything bagel.

Got water from our awesome water cooler (it cools! it heats! it looks neat!)

Remembered that we have orange juice.

Silently bemoaned the fact that I already filled a cup with cold water when what I really wanted was orange juice.

Considered carrying two beverages into my room, before deciding against that ridiculous display of decadence.

Ate breakfast while watching the Real Housewives of Orange County season finale.

Thought to myself that if I wanted to blog about everything that annoys me about the RHOC, I would literally have to take notes while watching.

Threw up onto my cat when Tamra said that Slade "looked like a homo" because he was wearing white thong sandals!

Decided to become a cutter when Vicki bragged to numerous party guests (the RHOC were at a swanky end-of-the-season soiree) that she bought herself a Rolex and then added this aside: "I felt a little odd showing people a gift I bought myself. I didn't want to be saying, 'Look! I bought myself a Rolex because my husband can't do it!'"

Finally ripped myself away from the RHOC, comforting myself with the knowledge that when I got home from school I'd have episode 1 of season 2 of the Real Housewives of New York City to enjoy!

Go ahead and judge me, but watching the Real Housewives is kind of like being able to stare at a person with a goiter without feeling guilty or impolite.