You know how when you're filling out an application for a reality TV show, you'll get a question like, "If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?"
What? You don't fill out applications for reality TV shows? Don't judge me.
Well, anyway, I have an answer to that question. I would, 100%, change about myself the fact that I am afraid of EVERYTHING. Seriously. I have had so many sleepless nights worrying about things that turned out not to matter AT ALL.
Among the things I've been worrying about lately:
1. I have to start clinicals for EMT class soon, and I'm incredibly nervous--to the point where I get the shakes, my heart stops working, and I have to go on a bypass machine. I'm not even worried that I'll make a mistake with a patient, because I'm pretty sure I won't be allowed to do much (since I'm not yet a licensed EMT), and if I am allowed, I'll be well-supervised. I'm nervous about all the down time, all the times when we're not going out on calls. I'm usually pretty good at small talk, but what if I just sit there in awkward silence for 9 hours? What then?
2. I have an interview for my 2nd degree nursing program in a few weeks. For the past year and a half, I have focused on almost nothing else but getting into this program! What if I mess up the interview? What if they ask me why I want to be a nurse, and I go blank? What if I'm driving to the interview and my car breaks down and I have to hitchhike with a smelly trucker who makes me try chew just to make it there half an hour late? What if I do everything right and I still don't get in?
3. Before I can even start my EMT clinicals, I have to get a Hepatitis B vaccination. The shot is administered IM (Intra-muscularly), which means a large needle will be jammed into my upper arm, and apparently, according to my classmates, it really hurts. My EMT instructor (a seasoned paramedic) will be administering the shot to me...but...what if I cry in front of him like a little baby? What if he shouts at me in a you-can't-handle-the-truth sort of manner? Also: I've been doing research online (probably not a good idea given that there is so much controversy surrounding vaccines, it's nearly impossible to get unbiased information) and apparently some people believe that the Hepatitis B vaccine leads to Multiple Sclerosis! I definitely don't want that. I saw an episode of A&E's Intervention where the messed-up kid's mom had MS, and she could barely walk around! She kept talking about the pain! The pain! Then again, I'm pretty sure the Hepatitis B vaccine doesn't cause MS. I could sign a waiver saying I don't want the vaccine, but then what if I get the disease? Hepatitis B can lead to liver cancer!
4. I have a microbiology test that I should be studying for. What if I fail? What if I fail?
5. I have heard rumblings that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. Umm...what's that all about?
So, yeah, those are my main worries. Also: I'm a little concerned that a favorite childhood movie of mine may never get released onto DVD. Check out this scene and tell me you wouldn't want to own this gem.
I know! Now you want to watch it! But you can't. Because it's not on DVD. And I probably won't be able to sleep tonight because of it.
Monday, March 23, 2009
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7 comments:
Cuba Gooding Jr. was in that?!!! You're right -- I totally want to own it!
um, i just read a lot of your blog and you are hi-f@*cking-larious.
you should keep writing through school and after. it makes me miss you, too.
m,varvil
I too am terrified that the world may end in 2012. Despite the fact that the end of the world has been predicted inaccurately numerous times, I have seriously cried about the world ending in three years. I hate to think that Dominic wouldn't live past eight.
Also, I know you get this all the time, and I myself have told you this at least half a dozen times, but I love love love to read what you write. It's like a really addicting comic, except that your blogs are funny and actually say something. Reading it, I just think, oh my gosh, me too! And this is the mark of only a truly good writer. You connect with your reader, and you make us wanting more every time!
We still need to start that writing group... I'm just waiting for God to add another hour or so to the day... ;-)
I have to agree with Tina... I have cried over the world ending in 2012, but I read your facebook comment and that helped to clear things up for me. I have been too afraid to actually research it, even though in my mind it just doesn't seem logical.
If you guys ever form a writing group I'll be curious to hear about it, even though I am in Chicago I'd still be interested.
Okay, you think that is bad, I live in the country, the country, really far away, and I have to return home all the time to make sure I haven't left the iron or curling iron plugged in and on. I don't even do my hair any more and honeslty I suck at ironing, but I still try. It's unreasonable. I sweat b/c I'm sure I'm gonna burn the house down.
I love reading your blog Liz. You always keep me laughing! And don't worry, you aren't the only one who worries about everything. I do too. Keep up the great work! And by the way, I had a Hep. B vaccine and it did hurt like a B!TCH, but to my knowledge I don't have MS...yet! I'll have to watch out for it.
Liz, now that we're getting married, I feel I have a say in this. Sign the waiver, please! Don't get the shot. Seriously. Vaccinations do indeed cause horrible things like MS and autism and, most recently in my son's life, seizures, which are the scariest thing I've ever endured. I'm writing a book on it just to show people how evil shots are. And if you're worried about contracting the disease, you can vaccinate with homeopathy, which truly protects you from the disease, with no side effects. In fact, you can vaccinate for everything you may encounter as a nurse. FYI.
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